It's about time that I started posting things again. Calling my blog "confessional" actually puts on a lot of unexpected pressure on what I post, but I'm deciding to ignore it and post anyway. To help me out, I've got my reliable lists (they're like my Handy Dandy Notebook when it comes to Blogger Writing Block).
1. I am starting to write again. Not just on a blog, or a paper for school, but fiction for fun. I suck at doing anything more than about half a scene, but I'm getting myself back out there, telling the universe that I am ready to start working towards my dream of being a bestseller again. It's surprisingly hard to get back into writing; it's really tempting to just go to Tumblr or something like that and read what other people are writing. Which brings me to my next point.
2. I love blogging. I love this site. I'm wondering, however, whether I should start blogging on a more modern site, like Tumblr. I've tried having multiple blogs before, and I suck at it, so it would be either here or there. I mean, I technically already have a blog there, but it's not a blog blog. It's more of a reblogging of all of the fandom and feminist things that I find and love. I'm not sure what I should do. Any input would be appreciated.
3. I had my second surgery! Everything went exactly the way the doctor expected it to, and I'm on the mend. It'll be two weeks tomorrow (Monday) since my surgery, and the steri strips are starting to come up off of my incision. I got myself a NICE war wound, one that I have been wanting for a long time. I'm in physical therapy now, and it's like going to the dentist, except they seem to like people. The workers there are extremely nice, it's just a painful process to go through.
4. I've also started reading books again. It helps to be moving back up to my room where all of my books are. I've been binging on Vivian Vande Velde -- she writes for a younger crowd (and by younger, I mean younger than 20. More mid-teen range) but she's so witty and clever! Her writing actually reminds me of one of my best friend's writing. That might be why it's so endearing. Either way, she is a highly recommended author. I've regained my love for reading, folks! It's all up from here.
5. Star Trek: The Next Generation. Need I say more? Although not without its social issues flaws, it is a remarkable show with some of my favorite characters from my childhood. Currently, my favorite character is (other than Picard, of course) Lt. Worf. I've been watching so much of this show that I've actually been dreaming about it. No, really. I've had at least two dreams this week starring Star Trek: TNG characters in them (mostly Picard and La Forge, oddly enough).
6. My brothers are back home from their vacation, and I'm so glad! I missed them! Mostly them washing the dishes, but it's missing them nonetheless!
7. Ow. Owowowowowowowow. Ow. Don't be adventurous, guys. Recovery HURTS.
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Sunday, July 7, 2013
M
Confession: "M" is still a pseudonym. Less of one than "Apricot," but a pseudonym all the same.
Reasons for changing from "Apricot":
1. It was time.
2. I mean, seriously, all my friends have made blogs using their real names and here I am with a pseudonym that is embarrassingly not me and it's time for that to change. I am not Apricot, I am not Soren Cantus (my first pseudonym), and it's time for me to stop hiding behind those.
Reasons for changing to "M":
1. It's so much more mysterious than "K." The whole title of the blog runs much more smoothly with the "M."
2. Two of my names start with "M." Only one starts with "K."
3. "M" sounds better (even though the letter "K" is prettier. Just sayin').
4. I still need a little bit of distance from my persona here. I'm going to be "confessing" a lot of really personal stuff in order to attempt to help people understand what I'm going through and what I'm talking about when I refer to certain things in my life. You have been warned.
Reasons for changing from "Apricot":
1. It was time.
2. I mean, seriously, all my friends have made blogs using their real names and here I am with a pseudonym that is embarrassingly not me and it's time for that to change. I am not Apricot, I am not Soren Cantus (my first pseudonym), and it's time for me to stop hiding behind those.
Reasons for changing to "M":
1. It's so much more mysterious than "K." The whole title of the blog runs much more smoothly with the "M."
2. Two of my names start with "M." Only one starts with "K."
3. "M" sounds better (even though the letter "K" is prettier. Just sayin').
4. I still need a little bit of distance from my persona here. I'm going to be "confessing" a lot of really personal stuff in order to attempt to help people understand what I'm going through and what I'm talking about when I refer to certain things in my life. You have been warned.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Also, An Announcement
I'm going to be changing my URL/blog name soon. Nothing big or huge. Just changing the Apricot in the name to my name.
Why?
For reasons.
Why?
For reasons.
My Sunburns Turn Into Tans
Hey-oooooo!
I really have no reason to write this blog post other than I'm sitting at work, having just arrived, and am waiting for my boss to get off of the phone so that I can get some pretty clear direction (well, as clear as it gets) and then start my immensely busy day of work. Long days here, fellows, long days. Well, mostly because this week my mother is at camp, and since I don't have a car, I have to catch a ride with my dad to work, which he leaves for much earlier than I usually do. So now instead of being at work at 9:00 AM, I'm here around 7:45 AM.
Like I said, no real reason for this post.
I just want to get back into the habit of posting things. And writing things. I miss writing things. I'm in the process of writing a short story and it's killing me because I have no idea what to do or how to do it. I haven't written a piece of fiction in so long that I think that I've forgotten how to do it. Help me, O Patron Saint of Short Story Writing!
Oh, I guess I could update you on a couple of things. For one thing, I had my first surgery! It went well, and I'm a prime candidate for the surgery where they rebuild me using me (as opposed to rebuilding me using a cadaver). So about now (I think) my cells are growing in a lab somewhere from a sample they took during the aforementioned first surgery. Is that not the coolest thing or what?
On that same note, I'm back to regular gimpiness. I should be able to get in le pool today, which excites me to no end. I'm like on a sugar rush, buzzing over here because I get to get in the pool today and swim around. I got in on Saturday on this awesome floaty lounge chair thingy (you know, the big ones they sell at Walmart with the multicolored bottom and cupholder and a backrest and armrests). Mom got it for her relaxation, but they let me use it so that I could float around with a book and enjoy the pool. The book, my rightfully curious ones, was A GREAT AND TERRIBLE BEAUTY by Libba Bray. GO. READ. IT.
Because I didn't think I was going to be in the pool that long (and I was just lazy), I didn't put on any sunscreen. And then floated around in the sun for four hours. Good news: I got halfway through my book in one sitting. Bad news: I also got a pretty good beating from the sun, which resulted in a sunburn across the top side of me. Even better news: the burn is already going away and taking its rightful place as a tan. Oh, how I love summer!
Also on the update radar, I like my boss. A lot. The first week, I hated him. I thought he was such a jerk, and I thought that for about a month. Lately, though, he's been pretty swell. He's grown on me. Sure, it's not daisies and cupcakes, but the guy knows that I had a surgery three weeks ago (to the day now), and he'll still carry in big piles of files so that I don't have to gimp around and carry them. How sweet is that? And I mean sweet not in the "awesome...sweet, dude" sense, but in the "aww, look how much he really cares" sense.
You know, I hadn't really planned on writing this much when I started this blog post. Oops, I guess. Unless you enjoyed it, then you're welcome!
Don't forget to be fantastic, my lovelies.
I really have no reason to write this blog post other than I'm sitting at work, having just arrived, and am waiting for my boss to get off of the phone so that I can get some pretty clear direction (well, as clear as it gets) and then start my immensely busy day of work. Long days here, fellows, long days. Well, mostly because this week my mother is at camp, and since I don't have a car, I have to catch a ride with my dad to work, which he leaves for much earlier than I usually do. So now instead of being at work at 9:00 AM, I'm here around 7:45 AM.
Like I said, no real reason for this post.
I just want to get back into the habit of posting things. And writing things. I miss writing things. I'm in the process of writing a short story and it's killing me because I have no idea what to do or how to do it. I haven't written a piece of fiction in so long that I think that I've forgotten how to do it. Help me, O Patron Saint of Short Story Writing!
Oh, I guess I could update you on a couple of things. For one thing, I had my first surgery! It went well, and I'm a prime candidate for the surgery where they rebuild me using me (as opposed to rebuilding me using a cadaver). So about now (I think) my cells are growing in a lab somewhere from a sample they took during the aforementioned first surgery. Is that not the coolest thing or what?
On that same note, I'm back to regular gimpiness. I should be able to get in le pool today, which excites me to no end. I'm like on a sugar rush, buzzing over here because I get to get in the pool today and swim around. I got in on Saturday on this awesome floaty lounge chair thingy (you know, the big ones they sell at Walmart with the multicolored bottom and cupholder and a backrest and armrests). Mom got it for her relaxation, but they let me use it so that I could float around with a book and enjoy the pool. The book, my rightfully curious ones, was A GREAT AND TERRIBLE BEAUTY by Libba Bray. GO. READ. IT.
Because I didn't think I was going to be in the pool that long (and I was just lazy), I didn't put on any sunscreen. And then floated around in the sun for four hours. Good news: I got halfway through my book in one sitting. Bad news: I also got a pretty good beating from the sun, which resulted in a sunburn across the top side of me. Even better news: the burn is already going away and taking its rightful place as a tan. Oh, how I love summer!
Also on the update radar, I like my boss. A lot. The first week, I hated him. I thought he was such a jerk, and I thought that for about a month. Lately, though, he's been pretty swell. He's grown on me. Sure, it's not daisies and cupcakes, but the guy knows that I had a surgery three weeks ago (to the day now), and he'll still carry in big piles of files so that I don't have to gimp around and carry them. How sweet is that? And I mean sweet not in the "awesome...sweet, dude" sense, but in the "aww, look how much he really cares" sense.
You know, I hadn't really planned on writing this much when I started this blog post. Oops, I guess. Unless you enjoyed it, then you're welcome!
Don't forget to be fantastic, my lovelies.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Three More
I've got three more songs swirling around my repeat button. Links are included in the song titles.
1. RIVERSIDE by Agnes Obel
This is a pretty pretty song by a pretty pretty European woman. Also, her cover has an owl on it. Awesome.
2. GALLOWS by CocoRosie
I first saw the video for this one, and that's how I started to like it. I don't like it nearly as much as Riverside on its own, but with the video, it's amazing.
3. C'MON by Panic! At The Disco (ft. Fun)
I should not like this song. I repeat: I SHOULD NOT LIKE THIS SONG. Why? Because it sounds like a mainstream pop song, and I normally overanalyze and hate those. But this one? This one I LOVE. It doesn't hurt that it's by two of my favorite artists.
1. RIVERSIDE by Agnes Obel
This is a pretty pretty song by a pretty pretty European woman. Also, her cover has an owl on it. Awesome.
2. GALLOWS by CocoRosie
I first saw the video for this one, and that's how I started to like it. I don't like it nearly as much as Riverside on its own, but with the video, it's amazing.
3. C'MON by Panic! At The Disco (ft. Fun)
I should not like this song. I repeat: I SHOULD NOT LIKE THIS SONG. Why? Because it sounds like a mainstream pop song, and I normally overanalyze and hate those. But this one? This one I LOVE. It doesn't hurt that it's by two of my favorite artists.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
My Old Kentucky Home
I don't know what it is about the Kentucky Derby that makes me so emotional. Is it the rousing, heartfelt singing of my state theme? Is it the beauty of the horses, the passion of everyone there, the ravishing greenness of the grass, the egregious amounts of over-sized headgear?
Is there an all of the above option?
I am extremely passionate about my home state of Kentucky. Those of you who know me in person will know that there is no middle ground with me. I either have no feelings about an issue/object/person/thing, or I have ALL OF THE FEELINGS IN THE WORLD THERE IS NOT ENOUGH OF ME TO CONTAIN THESE FEELINGS.
Observe:
0%---------------50%-------------------------------------172%
Math and stuff Nothing here, are you kidding me? KENTUCKY
Well, maybe life goals. They keep TOM HIDDLESTON
fluctuating between I HAVE ALL
OF THE CARES and I don't really
care at all.
In reference to the above graph, one can clearly see that my love for my home state and my love for Tom Hiddleston are the same.
That is a whole heckofalotta love.
*Side Note: All of these writing-in-CAPS reminds me of my job where I am writing things in ALL CAPS about 97.8% of the time. I keep typing these things like I have Real Estate Law Feels. I have no such feels. There is no fandom to be had for me here. Just FYI.
Is there an all of the above option?
I am extremely passionate about my home state of Kentucky. Those of you who know me in person will know that there is no middle ground with me. I either have no feelings about an issue/object/person/thing, or I have ALL OF THE FEELINGS IN THE WORLD THERE IS NOT ENOUGH OF ME TO CONTAIN THESE FEELINGS.
Observe:
0%---------------50%-------------------------------------172%
Math and stuff Nothing here, are you kidding me? KENTUCKY
Well, maybe life goals. They keep TOM HIDDLESTON
fluctuating between I HAVE ALL
OF THE CARES and I don't really
care at all.
In reference to the above graph, one can clearly see that my love for my home state and my love for Tom Hiddleston are the same.
That is a whole heckofalotta love.
*Side Note: All of these writing-in-CAPS reminds me of my job where I am writing things in ALL CAPS about 97.8% of the time. I keep typing these things like I have Real Estate Law Feels. I have no such feels. There is no fandom to be had for me here. Just FYI.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Doctors. Again.
Fast forward to moving back home for the summer and two doctor visits later.
Here's the diagnosis:
1. I have arthritis. The doctor called it "minor" arthritis, minor meaning that we can hopefully fix it.
2. I need another surgery. My first surgery, the one that I had two years ago, was successful in removing the loose body floating around and getting stuck (painfully) between my bones (which means that I couldn't extend my knee for...well, months, if not a year).
This loose body was a piece of cartilage that had broken off and calcified between my bones for years (about from 7th grade until after my senior year of high school had finished. Someone do that math for me). When it broke off, it left a hole in my knee. The doctor/surgeon micro-fractured my knee, making it bleed in the hopes that it would fill up the hole. It didn't. The hole is still there (it's pretty massive, actually. I'd be impressed if it didn't hurt so bad). This new surgery will be a cartilage graft, where they will take cartilage (either from me or from a cadaver) and they will use it to plug up the hole. I have to go to yet another doctor to perform the surgery.
3. If the pain doesn't stop, I'm going to gnaw my knee off. With my teeth.
Here's the diagnosis:
1. I have arthritis. The doctor called it "minor" arthritis, minor meaning that we can hopefully fix it.
2. I need another surgery. My first surgery, the one that I had two years ago, was successful in removing the loose body floating around and getting stuck (painfully) between my bones (which means that I couldn't extend my knee for...well, months, if not a year).
This loose body was a piece of cartilage that had broken off and calcified between my bones for years (about from 7th grade until after my senior year of high school had finished. Someone do that math for me). When it broke off, it left a hole in my knee. The doctor/surgeon micro-fractured my knee, making it bleed in the hopes that it would fill up the hole. It didn't. The hole is still there (it's pretty massive, actually. I'd be impressed if it didn't hurt so bad). This new surgery will be a cartilage graft, where they will take cartilage (either from me or from a cadaver) and they will use it to plug up the hole. I have to go to yet another doctor to perform the surgery.
3. If the pain doesn't stop, I'm going to gnaw my knee off. With my teeth.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Five And A Half Hours
I have a research essay due in five and a half hours, and what am I doing? Painting my nails. I just can't get started on this darn thing! Every time I think about it, I get incredibly anxious, and I have to escape. Some of my old escape methods were quick fixes that enabled me to get on with it, but they also weren't very healthy, so I'm avoiding those. My escape right now is watching Zoella and other vloggers (particularly book vloggers) on YouTube. At least I'm not marathon-ing Doctor Who on Netflix instead, right...?
Also, important announcement: I have decided to be a vlogger!
And not just a vlogger of ordinary day things (mostly because those aren't interesting at all), but a vlogger of books; hauls, reviews, favorites, all kinds of stuff. I'll also have another blog set up to work with my vlog work. Links will follow once everything is set up enough to my satisfaction.
Five and a half hours...
...yup, I'm screwed.
Also, important announcement: I have decided to be a vlogger!
And not just a vlogger of ordinary day things (mostly because those aren't interesting at all), but a vlogger of books; hauls, reviews, favorites, all kinds of stuff. I'll also have another blog set up to work with my vlog work. Links will follow once everything is set up enough to my satisfaction.
Five and a half hours...
...yup, I'm screwed.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Clothes And Grades And Things
1. I went shopping yesterday and bought four GORGEOUS shirts and an accessory belt (the belt was only $1) and now I'm looking amazingly gorgeous. Apparently plaid fit-and-flare button-up shirts look amazing on me.
2. With both of my research essays due this week, it looks like I actually have to start working on them now instead of panicking about them all day and having nightmares about them (alright, alright, so I haven't really had nightmares about them yet, but I can assure you that they're coming).
3. NULC is this week! I cannot express just how excited I am!
4. I got my hair cut into a '60's mod/'20's flapper bob. I've finally gotten my hair long enough to hint at an A-line bob, and the long it gets, the more defined the A-line will get to be. I'm officially out of pixie styles!
5. I'm really freaking out about the end of the semester and getting everything done. I haven't been keeping up with work these past two semesters, and my grades have really fallen behind. A lot. Like, last semester I got two B's and three C's -- not a single A. And while I could chalk it up to extremely hard classes and having a job and something really big and life-changing happening, those sound like excuses to me, not legitimate reasons. Because there are tons of people who go through similar things and still manage to care and work and get good grades. I really hope that I can get my school mojo back.
2. With both of my research essays due this week, it looks like I actually have to start working on them now instead of panicking about them all day and having nightmares about them (alright, alright, so I haven't really had nightmares about them yet, but I can assure you that they're coming).
3. NULC is this week! I cannot express just how excited I am!
4. I got my hair cut into a '60's mod/'20's flapper bob. I've finally gotten my hair long enough to hint at an A-line bob, and the long it gets, the more defined the A-line will get to be. I'm officially out of pixie styles!
5. I'm really freaking out about the end of the semester and getting everything done. I haven't been keeping up with work these past two semesters, and my grades have really fallen behind. A lot. Like, last semester I got two B's and three C's -- not a single A. And while I could chalk it up to extremely hard classes and having a job and something really big and life-changing happening, those sound like excuses to me, not legitimate reasons. Because there are tons of people who go through similar things and still manage to care and work and get good grades. I really hope that I can get my school mojo back.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Honestly, It's Really Just More Amanda Palmer
Former roommates of mine will tell you (probably with a grudging sigh) that when I like a song, I replay it. Over. And over. And over again. For weeks. Or sometimes months. My songs will change every few months, and sometimes I even have a few songs that I play on repeat rather than just one, which makes roommates marginally more happy.
I keep trying to publish this post, but the songs I'm filing through just keep changing. So, before they change again, here's what I've been listening to on repeat:
1. TROUT HEART REPLICA by Amanda Palmer and the Grand Theft Orchestra
This song is what I've been feeling lately. I know that I sound really happy and perky and chirpy here on this blog, but I've been going through some very serious things lately, things that don't make me happy. I may be writing a post about it later. Regardless, go listen to this song because it is long, beautiful, and heartbreaking. Oh, look, it just came up on my shuffle (again). Time to listen.
2. WANT IT BACK by Amanda Palmer and the Grand Theft Orchestra
There's going to be a lot of Amanda Palmer on this list today, mostly because I've been unable to listen to anything else since I bought her album. Well, not bought. She has an option for free internet download because she understands that there are people like me who can't afford her gorgeous music. She asks that when we can, that we donate towards her art. And I will. Oh, I will. This summer, I will contribute so much to her music so that she can make so much more! Anyway, this song is just so catchy.
3. THE BED SONG by Amanda Palmer and the Grand Theft Orchestra
This was the second Amanda Palmer song that I heard and absolutely fell in love with. It's tied with TROUT HEART REPLICA for my favorite song of hers right now. Make sure that you have a box of tissues with you when you listen to it. Don't say I didn't warn you.
4. OLLY OLLY OXEN FREE by Amanda Palmer and the Grand Theft Orchestra
WARNING: You're going to want to find an edited version of this song because it only has one swear word in it and it's a whopper. But find that edited version, because this song is so amazing.
5. LOST by Amanda Palmer and the Grand Theft Orchestra
Wait for the chorus, because it just keeps getting better. This is one of those songs that I know I like so I don't shuffle it away, but I forget just how much I love it until it hits the repeated chorus in the end (come to think of it, a lot of Amanda Palmer's songs use a similar song structure at the end, but it's not one of those annoying repeated things. It's really good, and I think it might be because you can tell she puts thought into every one of her songs. It's amazing how much creativity oozes from this album).
Okay, so all of these songs are from Amanda Palmer and the Grand Theft Orchestra. What does that tell you? It tells you that you need to go get this album now because it's one of the most amazing albums ever produced.
I keep trying to publish this post, but the songs I'm filing through just keep changing. So, before they change again, here's what I've been listening to on repeat:
1. TROUT HEART REPLICA by Amanda Palmer and the Grand Theft Orchestra
This song is what I've been feeling lately. I know that I sound really happy and perky and chirpy here on this blog, but I've been going through some very serious things lately, things that don't make me happy. I may be writing a post about it later. Regardless, go listen to this song because it is long, beautiful, and heartbreaking. Oh, look, it just came up on my shuffle (again). Time to listen.
2. WANT IT BACK by Amanda Palmer and the Grand Theft Orchestra
There's going to be a lot of Amanda Palmer on this list today, mostly because I've been unable to listen to anything else since I bought her album. Well, not bought. She has an option for free internet download because she understands that there are people like me who can't afford her gorgeous music. She asks that when we can, that we donate towards her art. And I will. Oh, I will. This summer, I will contribute so much to her music so that she can make so much more! Anyway, this song is just so catchy.
3. THE BED SONG by Amanda Palmer and the Grand Theft Orchestra
This was the second Amanda Palmer song that I heard and absolutely fell in love with. It's tied with TROUT HEART REPLICA for my favorite song of hers right now. Make sure that you have a box of tissues with you when you listen to it. Don't say I didn't warn you.
4. OLLY OLLY OXEN FREE by Amanda Palmer and the Grand Theft Orchestra
WARNING: You're going to want to find an edited version of this song because it only has one swear word in it and it's a whopper. But find that edited version, because this song is so amazing.
5. LOST by Amanda Palmer and the Grand Theft Orchestra
Wait for the chorus, because it just keeps getting better. This is one of those songs that I know I like so I don't shuffle it away, but I forget just how much I love it until it hits the repeated chorus in the end (come to think of it, a lot of Amanda Palmer's songs use a similar song structure at the end, but it's not one of those annoying repeated things. It's really good, and I think it might be because you can tell she puts thought into every one of her songs. It's amazing how much creativity oozes from this album).
Okay, so all of these songs are from Amanda Palmer and the Grand Theft Orchestra. What does that tell you? It tells you that you need to go get this album now because it's one of the most amazing albums ever produced.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Sometimes I Clean Things
I think I've already lamented the fate of my roommates, but let me add another thing to the list: I'm a maniacal cleaner. I'm a crazy lady with a broom, and when I get in the mood, NOTHING can keep me from going into a cleaning/furniture moving frenzy. I'm coming up on one now.
Sorry, roomies.
The last time that I went on a rampage -- no joke -- I kicked my roommates out of the bottom floor of our apartment, did the dishes, wiped everything down, swept, vacuumed, and rearranged the entire living room. Tomorrow is clean checks, perfect time to do it again.
Bring it on.
Sorry, roomies.
The last time that I went on a rampage -- no joke -- I kicked my roommates out of the bottom floor of our apartment, did the dishes, wiped everything down, swept, vacuumed, and rearranged the entire living room. Tomorrow is clean checks, perfect time to do it again.
Bring it on.
Oh, Look! Krill!
Alternate title: Oh, Look! Pain Pills!
I just realized that I never updated you guys on what happened when I went to the doctor. Here we go:
1. Con: I was a little late because I got lost. Pro: I know where the city hospital is now! (I know, I know, it's very stupid of me not to know where the city hospital is, especially since I've lived here every six months for the past three years, but honestly I didn't ever need the hospital. It kind of...well, it slipped my mind. I can seriously count all the times I've been to the hospital on one hand. Never been too much of a priority to know where the hospital is.)
2. From the x-rays that the nurses/assistants/what are these guys called again? took of my knee, we can pretty safely assume that the surgery that I had almost three years ago worked. Also, there is literally a chunk missing out of my knee. It's kind of cool. But not.
3. The doctor gave me three options from what he saw:
a) live with it (which he said was not working. I agree).
b) get a repeat procedure to scope around and see what's happening in my knee.
c) get a bone/cartilage graft.
4. At least I got some pain pills. After the doctor found out that I was going home to get any work done, he seemed disinterested in me. I had to ask for pain pills (even though he had asked and knew that even walking was painful and regular stuff wasn't working. At all). He only gave me 40 pills, and I'm having to ration them out. Even with my rationing, I will have to call and get more before I go home. I guess I didn't realize just how much pain I was in until I started taking them and realized that even these wouldn't take the pain totally away, just diminish it to a manageable level.
5. Overview: it looks like my surgery worked, we don't know why I'm in pain, I'm going to have to wait to get back home to find a doctor interested enough to help me out. Only one month left! I can make it!
I just realized that I never updated you guys on what happened when I went to the doctor. Here we go:
1. Con: I was a little late because I got lost. Pro: I know where the city hospital is now! (I know, I know, it's very stupid of me not to know where the city hospital is, especially since I've lived here every six months for the past three years, but honestly I didn't ever need the hospital. It kind of...well, it slipped my mind. I can seriously count all the times I've been to the hospital on one hand. Never been too much of a priority to know where the hospital is.)
2. From the x-rays that the nurses/assistants/what are these guys called again? took of my knee, we can pretty safely assume that the surgery that I had almost three years ago worked. Also, there is literally a chunk missing out of my knee. It's kind of cool. But not.
3. The doctor gave me three options from what he saw:
a) live with it (which he said was not working. I agree).
b) get a repeat procedure to scope around and see what's happening in my knee.
c) get a bone/cartilage graft.
4. At least I got some pain pills. After the doctor found out that I was going home to get any work done, he seemed disinterested in me. I had to ask for pain pills (even though he had asked and knew that even walking was painful and regular stuff wasn't working. At all). He only gave me 40 pills, and I'm having to ration them out. Even with my rationing, I will have to call and get more before I go home. I guess I didn't realize just how much pain I was in until I started taking them and realized that even these wouldn't take the pain totally away, just diminish it to a manageable level.
5. Overview: it looks like my surgery worked, we don't know why I'm in pain, I'm going to have to wait to get back home to find a doctor interested enough to help me out. Only one month left! I can make it!
Monday, March 4, 2013
NULC, Mirror Writing, And Job-Hunting
1. I got into the NULC! For those who haven't heard me rant about it yet, it's the National Undergraduate Literature Conference. I submitted three works, and one of my essays made it in, so I'll be heading down the first weekend in April and read my work in front of, well, anyone who attends the conference and decides that they want to hear one of the essays in my session. I am obscenely excited. I went once two years ago (when one of my fiction pieces got accepted) and it was an absolute blast. This time I'm going to have some more, so I'll be able to get some of that steampunk jewelry that I fell in love with two years ago. Not the same pieces, but the same style, I hope.
2. I've got an appointment set up for my knee. I know, I know, I was going to wait until I go home, but although February (the worst month for the pain) is over, it's still not pleasant. I have an appointment set up for Wednesday, which hopefully will get me into an MRI soon. Preferably this week.
3. My mirror is currently being used as a "drawing board" of a story that I'm plunking out. I'm still in the pre-write stages, the part where I determine who the characters are and what the story is and why this story actually matters. It's an intensive process, significantly helped by what I'm learning in my Superheroes in American Literature class, which is teaching me why literature matters, and what makes a book something important.
4. I'm job-hunting. I don't think I want to go back to the job I've been working. It's time for a change, to take on a new job that will help me grow. And also not give me a severe anxiety-inducing working atmosphere (didn't realize that it did that until I realized that I have social anxiety. Go figure). The job I thought I was going to might not work out, and I'd like to find another one like it, a nice 9-5 M-F job that pays well and lets me swim in the pool and somewhere near the library so I can walk to the library on my lunch break....ugh, someone just hire me at the library, okay? Please? Then my life will be complete.
2. I've got an appointment set up for my knee. I know, I know, I was going to wait until I go home, but although February (the worst month for the pain) is over, it's still not pleasant. I have an appointment set up for Wednesday, which hopefully will get me into an MRI soon. Preferably this week.
3. My mirror is currently being used as a "drawing board" of a story that I'm plunking out. I'm still in the pre-write stages, the part where I determine who the characters are and what the story is and why this story actually matters. It's an intensive process, significantly helped by what I'm learning in my Superheroes in American Literature class, which is teaching me why literature matters, and what makes a book something important.
4. I'm job-hunting. I don't think I want to go back to the job I've been working. It's time for a change, to take on a new job that will help me grow. And also not give me a severe anxiety-inducing working atmosphere (didn't realize that it did that until I realized that I have social anxiety. Go figure). The job I thought I was going to might not work out, and I'd like to find another one like it, a nice 9-5 M-F job that pays well and lets me swim in the pool and somewhere near the library so I can walk to the library on my lunch break....ugh, someone just hire me at the library, okay? Please? Then my life will be complete.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Exciting Things Are Happening
Let me tell you about them:
1. I'm in Women's Glee (no, not the show GLEE, but one of the vocal ensembles offered on campus. Part of my Music minor and all). We're singing in devotional this week, and our concert is this Wednesday. Looks like I need to get a move-on memorizing the German song we're singing.
2. Yesterday was Brother's birthday. I love him dearly -- he's one of my favorite people in the world, and I can honestly say that I'm related to one of my best friends (because he's pretty much the top of that list, right beside Stark). I'm a very lucky chica.
3. In three days, I find out if I made it into the NULC (National Undergraduate Literature Conference). I submitted three works this year, a fiction piece and two essays, as opposed to my usual single fiction submission. Hopefully at least one of them will get me in.
4. I bought a new sketchbook! It means I have less money for food, but art really is that important -- I really do believe that. I would gladly sacrifice my food for art, because while food may enable me to survive, art enables me to live.
5. THEATRE IS EVIL by Amanda Palmer and The Grand Theft Orchestra. Go download it off her site. Buy it off there. It has the new THE BED SONG recording. Go. Now. Fall in love with it. Listen to good art.
6. I think I'm going to go see THE TEMPEST, put on by my school. I've heard it's really good, and I just want to go see a play. Once you start going. you can't go back -- you get hooked.
Wow, that's a lot more than I had planned out. Guess there really are a lot of things going on in my life right now, even if they're small(ish).
1. I'm in Women's Glee (no, not the show GLEE, but one of the vocal ensembles offered on campus. Part of my Music minor and all). We're singing in devotional this week, and our concert is this Wednesday. Looks like I need to get a move-on memorizing the German song we're singing.
2. Yesterday was Brother's birthday. I love him dearly -- he's one of my favorite people in the world, and I can honestly say that I'm related to one of my best friends (because he's pretty much the top of that list, right beside Stark). I'm a very lucky chica.
3. In three days, I find out if I made it into the NULC (National Undergraduate Literature Conference). I submitted three works this year, a fiction piece and two essays, as opposed to my usual single fiction submission. Hopefully at least one of them will get me in.
4. I bought a new sketchbook! It means I have less money for food, but art really is that important -- I really do believe that. I would gladly sacrifice my food for art, because while food may enable me to survive, art enables me to live.
5. THEATRE IS EVIL by Amanda Palmer and The Grand Theft Orchestra. Go download it off her site. Buy it off there. It has the new THE BED SONG recording. Go. Now. Fall in love with it. Listen to good art.
6. I think I'm going to go see THE TEMPEST, put on by my school. I've heard it's really good, and I just want to go see a play. Once you start going. you can't go back -- you get hooked.
Wow, that's a lot more than I had planned out. Guess there really are a lot of things going on in my life right now, even if they're small(ish).
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
We Have A Plan!
[Cue reminiscing of AN AMERICAN TAIL with that one lady-mouse who's always goin' "Wet's have a wawwy!"]
[Really, it's because at one point she says "We have a pwan!"]
[Which is the title of this post]
[Obviously]
[Cue actual post]
So you know of my woes of ever-painful knees (no, really, yesterday I had to miss a class because I just hurt too much. This is legit). Well, my wonderful mother is on the hunt for a doc to help me out. She asked the orthopedic surgeon who attends our church congregation and he also said that i definitely should not be feeling pain at this point. I'm going to need an MRI, for starters, and then we're just going to go from there.
Fun fact: the doctor that my mother is thinking about taking me to is the same doctor who worked on my elbow when I broke it in Kindergarten.
Two months to go, and then I'll (hopefully) be fixed, for real this time!
[Really, it's because at one point she says "We have a pwan!"]
[Which is the title of this post]
[Obviously]
[Cue actual post]
So you know of my woes of ever-painful knees (no, really, yesterday I had to miss a class because I just hurt too much. This is legit). Well, my wonderful mother is on the hunt for a doc to help me out. She asked the orthopedic surgeon who attends our church congregation and he also said that i definitely should not be feeling pain at this point. I'm going to need an MRI, for starters, and then we're just going to go from there.
Fun fact: the doctor that my mother is thinking about taking me to is the same doctor who worked on my elbow when I broke it in Kindergarten.
Two months to go, and then I'll (hopefully) be fixed, for real this time!
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